Eyes wide  open

Exausted full of blood

My Mind can’t believe

What these hands of mine have done

These words I’ve spoken

Have left me alone

Our love was open

And fell me like rome

I can’t sleep

I can’t dream

Can’t hold on for long.

count sheep

Do anything

How far I’ve gone

Look at what I’ve become

I’m still falling 

Suspect to my suspicion

You won’t call me

Suspense to my position

Clouded actions

Get no satisfaction

Trapped in this limbo

Hearing the echo from far below 

I can’t sleep

I can’t dream

Can’t hold on for long.

count sheep

Do anything

How far I’ve gone

Look at what I’ve become

Reality sometimes seems to loosen it’s grip

Memories and happiness  seem to co-exist

Is there something I missed?

I am here amidst the dreamers proud

Yet my creativity and love are struck down

I am told and hear negativity all around.

“I can’t, I can’t, You can’t, There is no way.”

All I can do is hope one day

We can walk out our doors and listen to the world

We lay in the grass and hear the laughter over the passing cars

We will climb mountains and not be blinded by the telephone lines

I  wish for simpler times

Every morning I boot up my system only to boot up my system

I log in to see who else is logged in

I co-exist across the world and say no words

I sit and watch videos with no meaning or worth

When In theory the person I want to be

Would go outside and climb a tree

Every morning they would be doing yoga in a room with open blinds

I guess what I am saying is I wish for simpler times

I am a prisoner of my own devices

Technology has sheltered me from lifes herbs and spices

My cellphone becomes a heavy burden

My ipod is the soundtrack to my inner most thoughts

They stay locked away like a security system for my sanity

I want to throw it out and break it

Create music that will both rock the world and shake it

A  live performance doesn’t need catchy rhymes

I belong in a world of simpler times 

Wasted on a nonsensical path

Holding onto the handrail and forced to look back

At the good the bad the ugly and the grotesque

Quiet whispers  haunt and foreshadow death

Breath is sometimes the Key

And breath is sometimes lost over sea

Breath is the only reason to be

Giving up is easy but no matter how far we seem to fall

We wind up reversing our direction

Like time rewinding and your back at the start but this time just one floor higher

So that the next time we are givin the desire to jump

When we’re back and We’ve hit that bump and decide to take the plunge

You’ll be given a little more momentum till you hit the peak

And the words you speak will matter

And the words you think paint a pattern

And our journey is done and We’ve been beaten and battered

But through it all we never gave in to all the blood splattered.

I have been raised to strongly believe that there is a wrong and right side to everything. Though these last few years have opened my eyes to the gray that engulfs our world like an overcast day. I was recently in a position where I was essentially given a choice. Work for a decent wage at something I am no good at and be unhappy but have “stability”, or quit and be thrown into the vortex that is the job market while I hope and pray I can find some solid ground. Now the right thing would be to have stability but my happiness was causing me to resent everything about where I work and furthered thoughts of just leaving or yelling at the manager which would inevitably be the downfall of my good reference.

Of course, being human I chose the wrong path, the dark path, the road less traveled. Essentially, if this were a video game, and we all know that this is a common thought amongst the masses I was at a fork in the castle there was left or right to be chosen and no obvious sign about what was either way. Against all the video game gods  I went right instead of left.  Now will i regret my decision? I guess I will find out on the adventure that lies before me. These rash somewhat youthful decisions tend to be defining moments in my personal growth. 

It seems odd that the times I am most happy are when I am given the most freedom for self discovery. Well, cheers! Here is to the shit storm I am about to navigate. May I wind up saving the princess and destroying the evil that has plagued my mind.

I got one thing left to do

You’ll burn in flames when I’m done with you

You’ll probably beg I’ll hear you moan

I’ll stop and stare till your nothin but bone

I could rejoice I found the love I need

I needed a future and you gave it to me

So why did you leave?

You took off in the middle of the night

Not even the decency to spout me a lie

But No I won’t

I don’t deserve to cry

You left that night without one goodbye

But I  found you, you cannot hide

I got one thing left to do

You’ll burn in flames when I’m done with you

You’ll probably beg I’ll hear you moan

I’ll stop and stare till your nothin but bone

 

If you follow me

I’ll leave hollow see

I’ll take all the good and turn in to disparity

I’ll leave you hollow

you’re taught to stay away from me

If I awoke in a murder

I would solve it effectively

If I ever were to hurt her

There’d be no innocence left in me

If I were a wise man

No man could give advice to me

And If I were sad man

I’d question the world around me

If I could travel through time

I’d change the world for me

If I heard music everywhere

I’d question our melody

If I were a minute man

I’d wait

If I were a caring man

I’d hate

If you follow me

I’ll leave hollow see

I’ll take all the good and turn in to disparity

I’ll leave you hollow you’re taught to stay away from me

Observation. The audience goes wild when fucking is involved. 

It doesn’t matter where I start, because beginnings have no meaning.

It just matters where I end this poem, by then I hope to leave you all thinking

Rising up to support my heart that’s been bleeding .

Quiet with anticipation like a half court shot at the buzzer just pleading

for your team and

We are all a team though these thoughts are sometimes fleeting and we’ll choose to stand between good and evil and take a beating. Though you may be listening, to this rhyme scheme that I’ve been scheming it needs to change or this audience will continue dreaming.

And while we pretend and wear a mask now and preach about real issues up here we are only up here because of one thing. “’fucking”

I am new at this whole crowd but I’m a quiet observer.

I’m come to these things sat listened and heard her

him and the other guys deliver.

Said some things that sent a shiver

down across my spine and into my shoe.

But the cheers only come when passion touches you

and for whatever reason it is when someone tells you they can’t ‘Fucking stand it” it gets to you.

Funny cause fucking is so diverse in verse referring to intercourse or your distaste or worse.

If we toss it around it loses meaning but use fucking right and you’ll send the whole crowd screaming

And cheering like a fucking football game, the thirty, the twenty ,the ten and then inner change.

Falling in love and selfless expression like I fucking love her and my hearts in suspension

from this tension seizing my body I’ve lost control

like I’m an Eskimo without a parka trapped in the fucking north pole.

Again I’’l try to keep this from getting dull

I am a virgin at this and yet my topic is fucking so

I’ll continue preaching the good word

To everyone black white latino or a fucking nerd.

I’m sure by now you are starting to understand

that adding fucking qualifies you as the man

And now according to my master plan

I ask you all please stand and band together as one

Till this word fucking all together means none.

We give the words we ban power and here is the proof

I mean there are probably people fucking right now on this roof

Instead of a spoof let this be a toast

To the thoughts and feelings of those that matter most .

Us cause we are here and now.

And if you like what you’re hearing raise your middle finger high and proud

And climb to the top of that fuckin mountain and shout,

FUCK THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT I WANNA CHANGE IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

And though it may take a while we can all take a bow

because by the end of the day we will all be heard somehow.

This blog only serves one purpose, to share my poems and songs.

My inspirations are many but I try to support all of my poetry and songs with cold hard truth. Something that seems lost in the world today. I focus on real events, emotions and thoughts not just what sounds good or pleases the norm. So welcome friends, to my mind and late night rambles.